What really matters?

None of us is alone in this journey of life, yet we often tend to think of ourselves as islands.  Writing in 1624, John Donne put it more elegantly:

            No man is an island,

            Entire of itself,

            Every man is a piece of the continent,

            A part of the main.

Our recent period of global isolation has perhaps made us more consciously aware of our relationships with others, with God, and with ourselves.  For myself, I noticed my longing for family and my struggles to deepen new friendships due to restrictions.  While I am very much a homebody, even I became more than a little stir-crazy.  This time has reinforced for me, though, the importance of family and friends, of community.

As humans, we are relational beings, made to share life in community.  In our Western culture, we tend to prize independence and individualism at the cost, I believe, of ignoring or even denying the necessity of community.

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.  Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?  And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (CSB)

As 2020 drew to a close, I was once more considering major life decisions and transitions.  Should I stay here or move closer to family?  Should I keep my current job that I love or try to find a new one by moving?  Can I financially manage to live here, or would it be easier at home?  Is my current community sufficient support?

Then, in early January, my dad had a second heart attack (the first was 15 years ago).  Old stents were failing, there was new blockage, and he had just recovered from a mild bout of COVID-19.  Thankfully, my sister, a cardiac nurse, was still home visiting and was able to help while they called an ambulance.  The staff at the hospital were able to get my dad what he needed right away, and he is fine.  Praise Jesus!  My dad is healthy, energetic, and feeling a hundred times better.

To put it succinctly, I was terrified.  I hate thinking about my dad sick or hurting.  I hated knowing that mom was home alone, dealing with all of it.  Yes, we had family and friends around, but I wasn't there.  And while my presence alone would have made no significant contribution or difference, I was upset that I was not there.

Later on, during March, I came across the question – what really matters?  There is a sticky note on my desk at work with this question on it that catches my eye every so often.  It reminds me to stop and breathe because the little thing I have made into a big thing really does not matter.

So, what really matters?

For myself, I have boiled it down to two words – faith and family.  I have many interests, passions, skills, and talents, but what really matters is summed up in these two little words. 

I adore my family, even when they drive me crazy.  I love the foundation they have laid for my life and the support they still offer.  I love that they know me and see me, and they still love me just as I am (even if I am one of the quiet ones).

My family also laid a solid foundation of faith long before I realized I could choose for myself.  They gave me a framework for trusting God and living my life for Him.

While I do not know what the next chapter of my life holds, I know that I will be moving back to Wyoming.  This choice means I will be closer to family and have the chance to be a part of a faith community built around family and friends and church.  I have no fear over what the next months hold for me; in fact, I have a great deal of peace over this decision.  God knows exactly what I need, and He will provide; He always has in the past.

She is clothed with strength and dignity,

    and she laughs without fear of the future.

~Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)

What really matters?  We must each answer this question for ourselves.  Finding the answer is not easy – nor should it be.  We must examine our hearts, desires, experiences, motivations, and needs.  We have to be honest with ourselves and with God.  However, the journey of discovering what really matters happens in partnership with God.  And there really is no better place to be than side-by-side with God.

But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”

~Joshua 24:15 (NLT)