Rejoicing in the Dark - Ecclesiastes 11
Read: Ecclesiastes 11
Listen: A Song - “Vapor” by The Liturgists
Listen: A Meditation – “Vapor Meditation” by The Liturgists
So, we’re starting with an honesty moment this week – I had absolutely no intention of writing this post (and if you’ve noticed it is quite late but at least I got it written). It was absolutely the last thing I wanted to do, but given that I had zero motivation to do anything after last week, it’s not all that surprising. It was a day on top of a week on top of a month that I am completely over.
The beginning of the school year tends to be challenging, and I have always found that it takes a good three to four weeks to find any kind of routine. This year is proving itself no different. The first two weeks of work found me in nearly excruciating pain every day. I finally went to the doctor when I was at the point of barely being able to walk. A few days of pain meds later and I was hoping that they have done enough because I had to stop taking them due to the additional physical and mental issues they were causing. All of these things were only being compounded by work issues too. There were the typical challenges the beginning of the year brought, and then it snowballed – district decisions that I do not support, student behaviors that trigger every negative reaction I have and make me recall past traumatic experiences with students, confusing schedules, another student death that directly impacts our students and staff.
It has been the perfect storm of everything negative.
And I am so done.
There have been tears, alternately not eating or binge eating, and way too much insomnia. Friday night saw my negativity spiral going strong, and Saturday was reminiscent of so many other dark times. Between trying to manage my pain – both physical and mental at this point – and trying to recoup before attempting work again this week, I did not want to do anything.
So, what changed? I’m not entirely sure, actually. I woke up and went about life this morning – made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, made a grocery list, looked at the plan for the week, binged some Netflix, and actively avoided my study materials and Bible until I decided I was going to stick to some semblance of routine. This Ecclesiastes series is something I have had in mind for several years, and it is so near the end. I was determined, going into this school year, to work on a weekly/bi-weekly writing schedule, and I did not want to give in to the dark cloud hanging over me this weekend.
I went outside to the deck with my materials to get some sunshine and read Ecclesiastes 11. Oh, the irony. First, I noticed the title in my Bible for this section – “Invest in Life.” Here I was ready to become a hermit at the very least and ignore people for the rest of my days, and this chapter was focusing on engaging with life. Next, I read the verses. The Bible is not kidding when it says that God’s Word is alive and active (Heb. 4:12). Sometimes I need God’s gentleness and tenderness, but other times I need a good swift kick in the pants. Today was one of the latter times. Then I let things soak in a bit.
One of the verses that I found most striking at first was verse 7: “Light is sweet, and it is pleasing for the eyes to see the sun.” After holing up inside in the dark of the basement for much of the past two days, I found myself aching to be outside in the fresh air and sunshine. The natural light and warm air, the soft breeze, the water streaming in the fountain all served as a reset for me. The darkness in my mind and sluggishness in my body began reversing as soon as I went outside and started reading. This verse just seemed to drive the point home today.
The chapter had more advice in several areas, but one thing it focused in on was rejoicing in life no matter in what stage of life you find yourself. For those who are older, they are to rejoice in the years they’ve been given (11:8). The young are to rejoice in their youth and all that they are able to do (11:9). Both are cautioned though – the older ones to remember that there will be dark days and the young to remember that all things come before God in the end. The Preacher ends the chapter by saying, “Remove sorrow from your heart, and put away pain from your flesh, because youth and the prime of life are fleeting.” He just cannot help himself, can he? Life is fleeting, for death comes to us all at some point.
Thus, I experienced the strange phenomenon that often accompanies God’s Word – conviction and encouragement all rolled up together. My attitude after last week was absolutely the pits. The physical pain and mental anguish I was dually experiencing had been dragging me down so much that I forgot to share it all with God and look with gratitude on the good things God had been doing. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (NIV). I memorized this verse 25 years ago, yet I still need reminding of it today. God cares, and I am not in this life on my own. Psalm 118:24 further reminds us, “This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it” (NKJV). There is good to be found everywhere, every day because we carry God with us throughout our days. And always we must remember that we do not “know all the work of God who makes everything” (Ecc. 11:5b). God has a bigger picture plan that we do not know and could never fully comprehend.
We are left knowing only our one small corner of the world and even in that we are only gifted with the knowledge of our own perspectives colored with our unique life experiences. God is working even when we cannot see it, and He does know each person and their stories. He will put it all together into a beautiful tapestry, we just need to stay faithful in the lives He has given us to live. And just maybe this gives us permission to rejoice, despite the dark days.
