Be kind.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

~Ian Maclaren

I have read variations of this quote for some time.  In a recent Google search, I found that it most likely comes from Ian Maclaren, a pen name for John Watson (not the fictional Sherlock Holmes sidekick, unfortunately).  Watson was a Scottish minister and author alive in the latter half of the 19th century.  

This quote captures the essence of compassion for me.  I have been on the receiving end of this sort of kindness but also the reverse through thoughtlessness and misjudgement.  This type of kindness and compassion requires a person to pause and reconsider first impressions of another person or situation.  This awareness comes through individual experiences, empathy, and an assumption that any one person is doing the best they can with what they have available to them.

Several years ago, I was in a situation that I barely understood myself.  My emotions were all over the place.  I was exhausted beyond belief.  I was easily irritated and frustrated, which eventually resulted in a blow-up with a sibling during a holiday activity.  One of my aunts and my sister-in-law knew something was off with me, but I could not explain any of it myself.  My frustration over myself and my inability to regulate my emotions and reactions led to a few spectacular panic attacks.  The fact that others, and even myself, were misjudging myself and the situation did not help at all.

What my family and I know now, but did not understand then, is that I was dealing with depression.  That particular season was the end of several years of incredible stress and mismanagement of my health and circumstances, resulting in a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder.  Something that I have found particularly difficult with this diagnosis is that it is an invisible battle.  

While my triggers and struggles are unique to me, the symptoms of this illness are not.  Look up the symptoms of depression, and I have experienced most of them at one time or another.  But the symptoms can appear to be something other than depression.  For instance, one might assume I am lazy, selfish, uncaring, thoughtless, inconsiderate, and the list continues.  What is more likely occurring, though, is that I am trying to shore up my boundaries, regulate my emotions, remind myself of my identity in Christ, and find the strength to love myself and others to the best of my abilities.

It is easy to misjudge a person, a situation, a reaction.  We think we know what is going on in their lives; we think we know their personality and how they react to things; we think we are right.  But this is arrogance and pride on our part.  It is harsh, unloving, and inconsiderate.  Do I do this?  Absolutely.  Do I ask for forgiveness?  As often as I can.  Do I try and do better?  Yes.

But I have learned that we cannot ever know the full weight of experience, personality, and beliefs.  We cannot know everyone’s triggers or thought processes.  I know that some people are cruel, and I have been on the receiving end more often than I would like.  I know that some people are hurting and hurt others in return.  I have been on both sides of that equation.  But I also know that we are called to love God, love others, and love ourselves.  It is simple to say, but it is not always easy to live out.  

So let us start by being kind.  Always.